A Bike and Some Lessons
For his birthday this year, Mike bought a road bike. He couldn't stop talking about how much he loved biking growing up and that it was his lifelong dream to be able to buy one for himself.
At first, I thought we were just getting him a bike but little did we know, this purchase would come with some life lessons that would help us grow in our relationship and faith.
1. Preserve individuality in marriage.
When people learned about his bike, they immediately assumed I bought one for myself too. Their initial reaction was not directed towards Mike's bike or if he was enjoying his rides but rather to me with the million-dollar question, 'where's yours?'
Why is it that we expect married couples to always have the same interests, to always do things together, and match each other's energy like they have no other life outside of the relationship?
Mike and I realized for our marriage to thrive, we need to grow as our own person too. That means letting each other explore and learn different passions; setting aside days where the other can work on something that interested them or as we call it in today's culture: Me Time.
We learned not to take the phrase ...and they shall become one flesh or two become one literally.
I am genuinely happy he's able to fulfill this passion of his and take care of his overall health (most especially his mental health!) that I don't feel the need to join him or purchase something to make us even because marriage isn't supposed to be a competition.
2. Dream big, start small.
I hear of people dreaming of losing weight all the time but after knowing how much weight they needed to lose, they'd easily get discouraged and throw their fitness plans away.
Dreaming for something big or better is not bad. Actually, these dreams motivate and give us hope especially during this time when everything seems to be unbearable. The dream is not the problem, it's how we plan to achieve it. We either give up easily when things don't go our way or, sometimes, we tend to overthink that we never get to actually start.
Mike always dreamed of owning a bike but he didn't jump the gun and bought an expensive one. He got an entry-level one (at least that's what he claims he purchased). His reasons: a. he's not going to use it to compete or for other purposes like group meet-ups; b. he wants to learn how to maintain a bike because he's that kind of a person which actually came very handy because, on rides where he had a flat tire or loose chains, he is able to fix it and get home safely; c. he wants to test first if this is something he would enjoy doing long term and that he's not succumbing to the trend.
So whatever it is you've been dreaming of doing, start somewhere and enjoy learning along the way!
3. Be a good steward.
I know for sure this isn't an impulse buy. This was a well-prayed, well-thought, and well-prepared purchase.
During the pandemic, bikes were flying off the shelves. We waited for the store to restock the bike he wanted but the funny thing is, whenever they would, our finances would then be misaligned because we needed to divert funds to something more urgent.
And since we believe in the saying live below your means, we were very clear with our intentions that we will not use our credit card (yes we only have one because having more means more debts!) or take money from our savings. If God really meant for Mike to get a bike, we were willing to wait for an extra blessing.
Well, it was indeed for him, and buying it didn't feel like a burden.
True to his word, to this day, Mike maintains not just his bike but also our children's which is proof of being a good steward of God's blessings. I could not stress enough the importance of being one because hobbies, like biking, don't come cheap and it is hard to enjoy something you love if you're stuck paying for it for a long time, right?
It's been 4 months since Mike got his bike and is currently enjoying every ride that he now considers upgrading. I am not going to stop him if that's something that would make him happy and healthy. But I will remind him the same rules apply: pray, start small (or slowly), be a good steward, and let's see how God will surprise us!
Are you dreaming of something also but seem to be stuck or lost? We'd love to hear your story by leaving a comment below or sending us an email at hello@lifewithkids.blog.