Breakable Traditions
Although Christmas season is said to be the most wonderful time of the year, I think most people, especially parents with young kids, would agree that it is too the busiest and most tiring of all. I am convinced that these unnecessary stress are partly because of keeping up with holiday traditions for the sake of convenience. No wonder a lot of articles have circulated on social media reminding us that we don’t necessarily need to be slaves to it and thus paving a way for Mike and I to discuss and question the traditions we grew up following.
Why do we have to say yes to all gatherings? Why do we need to prepare so much food? Why do we have to spend a lot of money for gifts? Why do we sacrifice our own health to please everyone?
Oh believe me, we’ve done so much of that for many years until we’ve reached our breaking point and started asking ourselves: are all these really necessary and sustainable or are we just being sticklers to traditions?
The bad thing about constantly needing to follow the conventional is that it will eventually become an obligation. When it does, these so-called traditions will limit us from enjoying the moment. And it doesn’t just end with us, an even more scary thing is that we pass the same burden to our children and they too will be held prisoners to these practices.
Haven’t we learned enough during the pandemic when all of a sudden we realized that it’s okay to do things differently? That it’s fine to forgo traditions we used to uphold and still be called loving creatures? Now I know the world has somehow gone back to normal and some of us have quickly forgotten this important lesson—but not our family. The moment we decided to let go of the customaries that no longer served us, living became more simpler, enjoyable, and meaningful.
Therefore, this is the part where we started saying that we have “breakable traditions” in our family where our mentality is that not every season in life will be the same and we are free to break the familiar when things don’t feel the same anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all implying that traditions are evil and that we must immediately throw them out the window. I also believe that some have a beautiful purpose like preserving connection towards other people or on our culture. By all means, if your traditions bring you happiness and do not restrict you or your loved ones from living a peaceful life, keep them!
So how would you know if it’s time to break traditions and try something new?
When it starts to feel more like an obligation rather than a loving action
When it starts affecting your physical and mental health
When it takes away time from your children
When people stops participating
Also sharing with you some “breakable traditions” our family established over the years:
I don’t cook on Sundays so we either dine out or order in and every family member take turns in choosing where to eat.
We do road-trips and go on adventures in October.
We celebrate Christmas on the day itself as supposed to the traditional Filipino noche buena.
We order our favorite waffles for Christmas brunch.
Watch Home Alone over the holidays.
I can’t think of a more vital time for rethinking. As the coronavirus pandemic unfolded, many leaders around the world were slow to rethink their assumptions—first that the virus wouldn’t affect their countries, next that it would be no deadlier than the flu, and then that it could only be transmitted by people with visible symptoms. The cost in human life is still being tallied.
In the past few years we’ve all had to put our mental pliability to the test. We’ve been forced to question assumptions that we had long taken for granted: That it’s safe to go to the hospital, eat in a restaurant, and hug our parents or grandparents. That live sports will always be on TV. That we can get toilet paper and hand sanitizer whenever we need them.
As schools closed, teachers had to reimagine their classrooms virtually. As offices shut down, leaders had to rethink their resistance to remote work. Once we got a taste of freedom, many of us decided we wanted more. During the Great Resignation, record numbers of people didn’t just quit their jobs—they rethought their work and their lives. Some picked up and moved to different cities and countries. Others struck out on their own for the first time as entrepreneurs, freelancers, or creators.
I love this excerpt from Adam Grant’s book, Think Again. It is so true that our way of life and the way we used to see things have been challenged over the past years. If anything, the pandemic opened our minds to learn and unlearn a lot of things in life. And if I were to teach this lesson to our children, I want them to know that both commitment and flexibility needs to co-exist— commit to your non-negotiables: faith, health, family, and in everything else, keep a flexible mind.
How are you over the holidays? If you have any thoughts about family traditions, connect with us by leaving a comment below.
Wishing you a peaceful and enjoyable New Year! 🎉