In Isolation
June 20, 2021
I am worried.
I am scared that this could be Covid again. It’s been 2 days since I showed symptoms and I’d like to believe that God has a purpose for allowing me to be on my own as I took the liberty to isolate myself from the rest of the family. This is not easy for me mentally and emotionally especially today— it’s Fathers’ Day.
I have cried during my first few days longing to be with my family. I can hear them but I can’t see them. Even worse, I lost my voice so I can’t talk to them between these thin walls.
It is very unfortunate that I got sick on a weekend. The HMO clinic and laboratory are closed so I have no choice but to stay put where I am and wait for the next business day.
As I lay here in the kids’ bed, watching one movie after another, I started finding myself even more bored, restless, and emotional. In times like this, I am reminded by the testimonies of terminally ill patients and that of the Apostle Paul when he was in prison. They did not waste time moping around or busying themselves with other things, rather used the solitude they have to be closer to God.
So I decided to turn this isolation into prayer and fasting. I told myself since I don’t have the appetite to eat, why not take advantage?
Today’s reading is from Hebrews 13:1-6 but I want to highlight verses 5-6:
Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, ‘I will never desert you, nor will I ever abandon you,’ so that we confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?’
NASB2020
I was reminded that being lonely is not the same as being alone. Believers are never alone because God is always with us. I may be in isolation but that doesn’t mean I am literally disconnected from everybody else.
I feel so much relieved reading this and I think I will be able to sleep peacefully tonight.
June 23, 2021
It’s still lonely here on my isolation island. It’s my 5th day, my voice is starting to come back and I’m starting to feel absolutely better. I think I am experiencing spiritual breakthroughs too.
From the very minute I started feeling sick I immediately asked God why again and what is it that He wants me to accomplish this time around. Assuming His answer, I rested on usual reasons like He wants to use me to tell about His kingdom or maybe He’s giving me an opportunity to do things I couldn’t or wouldn’t when I was well. With that in my head, I started formulating a list of the things I’d like to finish while I’m in here:
1. Fix book schedule for SY 2021-2022
2. Blog
3. Finish deliverables for a business
Which seems pretty harmless since I have so much time right now but why is it that I couldn’t gather the strength to do it?
Today’s reading is from Luke 5:1-7:
Now it happened that while the crowd was pressing around Him and listening to the word of God, He was standing by the lake of Gennesaret; and He saw two boats lying at the edge of the lake; but the fishermen had gotten out of them and were washing their nets. And He got into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, and asked him to put out a little distance from the land. And He sat down and continued teaching the crowds from the boat. Now when He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, 'Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.' Simon responded and said, 'Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.' And when they had done this, they caught a great quantity of fish, and their nets began to tear; so they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both of the boats, to the point that they were sinking.
NASB2020
What a discovery! The first time Simon (later on called Peter) displayed his obedience to Jesus is not when he dropped everything and follow Him to do the ministry, but rather that moment when he let Jesus borrow his boat and even heeded to push it a little farther from the shore.
Suddenly, I recalled the phrase a mom in my book club said, “But seek first the kingdom of God…” It was like a light bulb that automatically switched on! Why is it that human beings like to complicate things? Why do we like to overthink and then complain that we’re so tired?
Seek first. Seek Him first and everything else will follow.
Peter took the first step and in Charles Stanley's words, “Saying yes to God in the small things is essential to discovering His purpose for us, and what’s more, our obedience will also often cause others to benefit. Peter’s compliance with Jesus’ next small request—to let down his nets one more time—resulted in two boatloads of fish, which was more than enough for all those with him.” Peter’s story did not just end here. He became an institution to the Christian church.
My sorrow quickly turned to joy, my worry to peace, and this isolation became a retreat.
June 26, 2021
IT’S NOT COVID!
Had my test last Tuesday. It was negative and I am also feeling so much better today! Although my doctor told me to still limit my movements, I started practicing yoga every morning and slowly started seeing my family while making sure to continue practicing minimum health protocols.
As I end my isolation this week, I want to take note of my new learnings:
1. In today’s culture, it’s of the utmost importance to take extra care of our Spiritual life. Go into isolation once in a while to get really connected with the Lord.
2. Most of the time we tend to overlook God’s response to our prayers because we like to expect elaborate and grand miracles from Him. We need to go back to the very basic principle of the Christian life.
3. Being still, taking time to rest does not mean you are being useless. I realized that no time was wasted this past few days because this connection I had with the Lord is so fruitful.
4. I am reminded to be grateful despite the challenges. I thank God for the privileges I have today— the roof covering our heads, food delivery services to cover for me while in isolation, this spare room is readily available whenever someone in our household gets sick.
He just needed time with me and that made me feel so special.
