Life with Covid
Fearful, sad, anxious, tired, aching, and happy were some of the emotions I felt from that very moment I received an email from the hospital with my Covid-19 swab test result.
Sars-CoV-2 viral RNA DETECTED the email clearly stated.
It's the beginning of 2021 and I am trying to align myself with personal goals which includes taking care of my physical and mental health. Even before the New Year, I already committed in joining Barre3's January Challenge for a stronger me.
But God was not sold to the idea. Nope! I have other plans for you, He said.
The Context
December 30.
Mike and I decided to head to the wet market to buy supplies for NYE festivities. Days before, we had been contemplating whether to push through with the plan knowing how such places can become overcrowded during the holidays. In normal circumstances, too many people in one place isn't really a big deal, but we're living in a rather different time now because of the pandemic and we had to really, really be careful.
Mike and I agreed that if we see people lined up outside, we would head back home. We didn't. We thought, we've already traveled this far it would be a shame to go home empty handed.
Days passed, our New Year celebration went as planned and I was so pumped up to start my January challenge:
Wake up at 5AM
Barre3 everyday
Morning homeschool schedule
Eat less carbs and processed sugar
Eat more fruits, veggies, and protein rich food
Use less to zero social media
Read a new novel
Prayer and fasting week
I honestly thought I did a great job on my very first day except the same night, I started feeling a little funny.
Exactly 5 days after our trip to the market, I experienced having mild flu like symptoms except the fever---colds, cough, headache, and fatigue. Initially, I tried to laugh it off thinking I probably overworked myself doing my January challenge. I'm such a weakling! But since Mike and I had a strong conviction about this virus, the need to report to our Local Government Unit became more sensible than denying the reality that this could be it.
I was immediately scheduled by our Barangay Health Office to get an ECLIA antibody test. Results turned out negative and my case was dismissed as nothing but a common viral infection. Despite my initial prognosis, I was determined to stay under home quarantine until I was well enough to interact with other people.
Our hearts were relieved by the news until after a couple of days I noticed I couldn't taste and smell anything. Although my previous symptoms did not worsen, it wasn’t getting better either even with the medicines and supplements I've been taking. I knew deep inside something was wrong. I know my body too well. I've had viral infections before and this isn't the same.
On the 14th day of the onset of my symptoms, 4 days after my ECLIA test, I decided to personally get a RT-PCR Swab Test at a drive-thru facility. During that time, we decided not to tell anyone until we knew for sure to avoid panic and confusion. After exactly 24 hours, I received the hospital's email with my results attached.
The week that followed, Mike and our daughter tested positive too while our son remained well and healthy.
The Lesson
Granted we shouldn't overlook the fact that we got infected partly because we were careless and my immune system didn't fight well enough. But I also believe getting sick has a greater purpose. For the 28 days we were under strict home quarantine, Mike and I were still privileged to join our church's prayer and fasting that helped me put the pieces of this puzzle together.
God has prepared us for this event.
If you think the mysterious things that happened to you in the past do not have any connection to who or where you are today, think again. Months ago, we couldn't explain the things that occured in our life like how Mike was able to come home from Singapore just before they halted air travel. And although he lost his job, he was able to get a new one couple of months before we got sick.
On Christmas, we were about to give each other gifts but God orchestrated something to happen that did not allow us to buy them which resulted in having enough savings for rainy days like this.; or how lucky we are to be living in one of the cities in Metro Manila which responded very well to the pandemic.
As I look back, I marveled at how God was actually preparing us for what was about to happen--- our bodies, our minds, our finances and our hearts. Everything that happened was according to His plans.
God's will was fulfilled in our lives.
You're probably thinking, "what do you mean God wanted you sick?" Do you believe God causes all things to work together for good? I know this might sound crazy but I have accepted that He meant for us to get COVID for reasons like: He is teaching us something and that lesson will be later on used to inspire others, to develop our character, for us to be closer to Him, and that HE IS WHO HE IS. He is God, we are humans and the fact that there will always be pain and suffering until Jesus comes again, we will really never be safe in this world. Knowing these things made me emotionally stable during those days that we were under quarantine.
The Father is very careful about what He permits to touch our lives.
Dr. Charles Stanley
God made us experience His love.
How can I therefore say God loves us when we're having a difficult time? After reading my test results, I started sending messages to our Barangay, to the community where we live, to our church support group, family, and close friends. Blessings poured our way. Since we can't go out, people offered to do grocery for us, people sent over food, medicine, and cleaning supplies; we were prayed for, people have been in constant communication with us. We were not once worried about our needs. We honestly received more during this time than our birthdays or any holidays. We experienced God's love through other people.
Don't Deny Reality
Having a strong faith does not give us the right to be negligent. In the same way, having a strong conviction about the virus does not necessarily mean the person lacks one. As the ancient saying goes, Do your best and God will do the rest. We are asked to participate rather than to passively wait for the Lord to do something.
I know I said God's will always prevail but I also couldn't help but blame ourselves for what happened. Here we were, privileged enough to work from home and had all the options available so that we can limit exposing ourselves but still, on that unfortunate day, we didn't use our better judgement. We could have honestly avoided contracting the virus and the possibility of spreading it.
Reality is, there's a threat waiting for you outside your door that could endanger not just your life but the lives of the vulnerable--- the elderly, the poor, people with underlying conditions; saying let go and let God is not enough.
The Future
Four weeks and some positive antibodies results later, Mike, RyRy and I were officially declared Recovered from the virus which meant we were no longer a threat to society. But how does one really recover from Covid-19?
I am convinced that the road to recovery is even more difficult, at least for me. There are times that I would still get anxious whenever my chest would tighten and would let out a cough. Days when I would think that I probably developed long term effects or what will happen if we get reinfected.
Despite our mild symptoms, I think our family became even more serious about this pandemic. We are more judicious on our whereabouts or who we come in contact with making sure it won't happen again to us especially to our loved ones because that will really break our hearts.
COVID indeed left a scar.
And although all these fears remain, I know my faith was once again made stronger and our little family grew a little bit more closer to one another learning so much from this tragic yet beautiful setback.
If you are experiencing any symptom, no matter how mild, please isolate and get in touch with your Local Government Unit immediately. They can help!